Skip to main content

Banker or Not-A-Banker

  • Author:
  • Updated:

Despite Wendy Straker's warnings against dating investment bankers, some of you kids are still doing it. Or at least trying to. Because sometimes you might only think you're dating a banker.
Meet Shane, a shy administrative assistant who likes to make up stories about himself when he meets women.

I reverted to one of my old tricks, which is to assume a different personality with strangers, to amuse myself and whichever pals I'm with.
This time, I chose i-banker at JP Morgan, not thinking for a moment that anything more than conversation would develop. As luck would have it, the Bulgarian girl was an econ major trying to land a gig with Goldman Sachs. Needless to say, I spent the next few minutes tapdancing. Typical excerpt:
"Which section do you work in at JP Morgan?"
"Mostly know, I mean, it's finance most of the time...there's some accounting, obviously, but finance is the main thing."
They were only juniors in college, so I think they knew little enough about the biz that I could get away with generalities. I got by on details I've heard from other friends who really do have those types of jobs. I complained about the hours, the managers, etc. But I tried to make it sound a bit glamorous. Those others, frankly, make it sound like pure shite.
Then, of course, I hooked up with her on the street. She called me charming, but I have to wonder how much of that charm stems from what she assumed to be my bankroll. Her friend, also, called me a great guy, and listed my qualities: "you're funny, you're nice, you've got a GREAT job..." Emphasis on the last.

Heh. Lying is funny because it works. We eagerly await the next installment.
Werkin Man [Shane's Blog]