Banker or Not-A-Banker

Publish date:
Updated on

Despite Wendy Straker's warnings against dating investment bankers, some of you kids are still doing it. Or at least trying to. Because sometimes you might only think you're dating a banker.
Meet Shane, a shy administrative assistant who likes to make up stories about himself when he meets women.

I reverted to one of my old tricks, which is to assume a different personality with strangers, to amuse myself and whichever pals I'm with.
This time, I chose i-banker at JP Morgan, not thinking for a moment that anything more than conversation would develop. As luck would have it, the Bulgarian girl was an econ major trying to land a gig with Goldman Sachs. Needless to say, I spent the next few minutes tapdancing. Typical excerpt:
"Which section do you work in at JP Morgan?"
"Mostly know, I mean, it's finance most of the time...there's some accounting, obviously, but finance is the main thing."
They were only juniors in college, so I think they knew little enough about the biz that I could get away with generalities. I got by on details I've heard from other friends who really do have those types of jobs. I complained about the hours, the managers, etc. But I tried to make it sound a bit glamorous. Those others, frankly, make it sound like pure shite.
Then, of course, I hooked up with her on the street. She called me charming, but I have to wonder how much of that charm stems from what she assumed to be my bankroll. Her friend, also, called me a great guy, and listed my qualities: "you're funny, you're nice, you've got a GREAT job..." Emphasis on the last.

Heh. Lying is funny because it works. We eagerly await the next installment.
Werkin Man [Shane's Blog]