A few days ago, we reported that we were “pretty sure”—which is like being “basically sure” or “essentially sure,” for you wordsmiths out there—that the higher-ups at the NYSE had gone south for the Exchange’s annual summer concert series. We mused that they’d (probably) had a “simply fabulous” time, what with President and COO, Catherine R. Kinney (most likely) meeting her “absolute favorite” rocker, Garth Brooks; and CEO John A. Thain getting pulled on stage during a duet by the country singing juggernaut that is Kenny Chesney/Tim McGraw. Since that’s the story we went with then, now, we’re going to continue this little narrative of sorts that we’ve begun, and speculate as to what happened the morning after. Think of it as Planespotting: NYSE, The Sequel; it’ll be fun, really.
So, when we did our regularly scheduled round of stalking this morning, we found that that NYSE’s Gulfstream IV had left Texas and headed for Los Cabos, Int’l Airport; i.e. partaaay! You just know Kinney made it a point to get on Girls Gone Wild, whatever means necessary* and that Thain, in all likelihood, got a really bad burn his first day on the beach. What you don’t know, is that on the last night of the trip, Thain,** having ventured out of his hotel room for the first time in 3 days, ran into, of all people, the new Mrs. Melania Trump. We're pretty confident that mai tais were had, buttons were fumbled with, and "you have no idea how refreshing it is to be with a guy without a hairpiece" was said, at least once. Don’t be surprised if MT's now on the short list for bell ringers—Thain was running pretty low on cash.
*trust us, that girl is a FREAK
**most plausibly, though we can’t give you “totally plausibly” at this time; most plausibly is all we’ve got, take it or leave it.
+Full disclosure: not wanting to further incite the beast that is Ray Pellecchia, we must tell you that the NYSE is not the sole owner of the Gulfstream, but, being the penny-pinchers they are, went in on the deal with a few friends, one of whose name is Cannibal Enterprises LTD. Yes, Cannibal.