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Ten Years Ago On DealBreaker

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(Editors Note: Business and financial news moves fast, and DealBreaker sometimes moves even faster. With this new feature, we take a look back in time at some of our work from years past. Years when, technically, we didn’t actually exist. So instead we’re, uhm, back-dating our coverage.)
Chunnel News: “We’re confident the tragic channel tunnel fire will not prevent the technically marvelous tunnel from becoming one of the most profitable transportation enterprises in European history.” +
Power Couples: “The marriage of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, who recently negotiated a $12 million deal for Castle Rock’s Striptease, demonstrates that high-powered couples can, indeed, maintain a strong and stable marriage.”+
Tech Biz: “The launch of Nintendo 64 in Japan sounds the death knell for video game console innovation. This is a product genre that is clearly at a dead-end.” +
Culture Biz:Rent is nothing more than a wistful urge to relive the 1980s and a whine against modern capitalism. It’s hard to believe that a musical based on such a backward ideology has any future on contemporary Broadway. We’d be surprised if it even makes it through its initial run. Investors be prepared to lose your shirts faster than the characters in the musical.” +
Media Business: “A sophomoric humor magazine called The Onion has launched a website, hoping to cash in on recent improvements in bandwidth and browser speeds to bring its brand of satire to the internet. We’re skeptical that there is much of a future for satire on the internet. Most users would prefer to use it for serious commerce such as the food delivery and pet supply companies we understand are currently in development.” +