Write-Offs: 06.14.06

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$$$ Oil at $70 a barrel isn't funny. (Yes, it is.) [Borowitz Report]
$$$ Bored during meetings? Play transaction legalese bingo covertly. Finally, transaction jargon makes itself useful. [BullshitBingo]
$$$ A link for Ben Bernanke: How to talk to journalists: a guide for economists. (Speak slowly, etc.) [Nieman Watchdog]
$$$Thanks to the Fuqua School of Business, you can now get Jamie Dimon on Podcast. (Podcast here, under "distinguished speakers".) This is obviously a ruse on Duke's part to distract people from the lacrosse incident with big, important breaking news. And you know what? We're biting. Ooooh, podcast! Sparkly! [Playlist]

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Write-Offs: 03.23.12

$$$ Morgan Stanley wants all of Citi venture [Reuters] $$$ NYSE CEO Duncan Niederauer is not above gloating about BATS [CNBC via BI] $$$ Fannie and Freddie: Slashing Mortgages Is Good Business [ProPublica] $$$ Proposed names for Disney's Seven Dwarfs included Burpy, Hotsy, Shifty, Wistful, Doleful, Woeful, and Biggo-Ego [Lists of Note] $$$ JPMorgan is looking for a credit risk manager to cover banks and broker-dealers [DBCC] $$$ SEC demands Wells Fargo comply with subpoenas [Reuters] $$$ Lehman Ex-Broker Sentenced in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Ex-NBA Player Indicted on Ponzi Charges [WSJ] $$$ About forty people got out of their cars along Interstate 270 in Maryland and helped themselves to $5,795 in cash that fell out of an unsecured armored truck. ... Police are offering amnesty to anyone who returns the cash, but only $100 has been handed over so far. Heather Kelly described the scene on 270 to the AP: “It was in the traffic lanes and on the shoulders and just generally kind of like a snow globe of cash." [DI] $$$ Lacrosse players say the sport rewards the kind of determination required to do well on Wall Street. “By and large, lacrosse players aren’t necessarily the best athletes in the country,” says Joe Lizzio, a former Cornell player and co-founder of CapRok Capital. “We don’t have huge vertical leaps or run the 40 [meter dash] in 4.4 seconds.” The best lacrosse players “are smart kids that put in the long hours,” adds Cummings. “The same goes for finance, where you’re going to do well if you can outwork the other guy.” Another common attribute of lacrosse players is the kind of privileged upbringing that might have led them to banking careers even if they had never touched a stick. [BW]

Write-Offs: 11.11.15

Bond trader bonuses down; SnapChat gets reality check; Bernanke talks easy money; "Groupon Is Selling a Clip-In Manbun"; and more.

Write-Offs: 3.8.16

Tom Hayes denied latest appeal bid; U.S. watchdog warns on banks’ counterparty exposures; Meth-Smoking Clown Arrested At Waffle House; and more.

Write-Offs: 3.4.16

Jim Rogers says 100% chance of recession within a year; You can buy 1% of the Yankees for $24 million; Are you smarter than a quant quiz; "Here’s What Happened When Some Dude Ate Like The Rock For A Month"; and more.

Write-Offs: 01.28.13

$$$ Hedge fund scorecard 2012: Mortgage masters win, Paulson on bottom again [Reuters] $$$ Watchdog Says U.S. Treasury Failed to Curb AIG, GM Pay [Bloomberg] $$$ Buffett Said to Have Expressed Interest in Buying NYSE Euronext [DealBook] $$$ Yahoo Profit Drops but Revenue Rises [CNBC] $$$ Henry Blodget got on a plane and the plane went way up in the sky and it was good to be on the plane but then there was pee-pee on the plane and the pee-pee wasn't good [BI, but mostly Twitter] $$$ A global financial firm is looking for a quant in New York [DBCC] $$$ Jana Chides Agrium Over CEO Comments [Deal Journal] $$$ FTC Action Leads Court to Halt Alleged Pyramid Scheme [FTC] $$$ People don't want to kill robots [NPR] $$$ Here is an amazing picture of the Queen of the Netherlands, who quit today [Qz]