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Write-Offs: 06.15.06

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$$$ Every good businessman must know how to haggle; Reader's Digest provides a handy how-to guide...though if you're a Goldman, Horowitz or Weinstein, it might just be easier to give your mom a call (she'd love to hear from you!) [Reader's Digest]
$$$ Muffie's gayer, sluttier male counterpart? [Things I Can't Tell Boyfriend Number 1: My Gay Activities Which My Boyfriend Doesn't Know About]
$$$ Jay Allen vs. Bank o' America -- Jay to Goldman Sachs: "B o' A knows what she did!" [Jay Allen's Daily Journey]
$$$ Investment Bankers and Lawyers Just Can't Get Along: A Riddle [ECosmo v1.0]
$$$ Recently been fired for harmlessly offering a burrito and a crack at a piñata to your co-worker, Jose? Manhattan Mortgage Banker seeks an assistant with a great phone voice; you must be "submissive, down for whatever," but that's a small price to pay for the freedom to ask your (misogynistic?) employer if he'd like you to smash any beer cans on his forehead while he works (though you might get fired for failing to abide by diversity and anti-harassment rules, yet again). [Craigslist]
$$$ A Japanese banker walks into a bar... [Crossing Wall Street]