Write-Offs: 06.26.06

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$$$ Okay, we're going to tell you something, but you have to promise not to freak out, okay? Promise? Swear? Okay...THERE'S GOING TO BE A WALL STREET SEQUEL. (Okay, see now we should have prefaced that by saying that screaming and knocking everything off your desk and going into a Michael Jackson-upon-sighting-a-flock-of-pre-pubescent-school-boys-like frenzy doesn't qualify as "not freaking out." Our mistake. Shhh, it's okay, you didn't know). [Golden Fiddle]
$$$ "Santa Pretender Makes $1 Million A Year." Seems like a lot, until you find out that Hanukah Harry pulls in that much in a week, when he's really off his game, and that the Easter Bunny doesn't even get out of bed for less than $500 K/day. [Unusual Business Ideas That Work]
$$$[The Lazy Way to Success]
$$$ 33-year-old banker fulfills lifelong dream, becomes a cheerleader (Gene Plotkin learns of this news, stiffens, says "Cheerleaders are just slutty girls who can't dance," remains sullen and defensive for the rest of the day; refuses to even talk to his cellmate or trade stock tips for cigarettes during lunch). (Scroll down; it's worth it) [The Professional Cheerleader Blog]

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