Write-Offs: 07.06.06

Author:
Updated:
Original:

$$$ For a guy who plasters "embrace diversity" and "open-minded" banners on his blog, it's interesting to read some of things that 'gay banker' won't tell the ol' ball-and-chain. Oh well--the monogamous life is not suited for all. [Things I Can't Tell My Boyfriend Number 1]
$$$ "How many investment bankers can you fit in the back of a pickup truck? Only 2--you have to leave room for the lawn mowers!"
I don't get it. [Collection of Stock Market Jokes after the Crash]
$$$ Breaking News: Market indicators have shown that while "Ho" stock has gained some market strength, the "G's" have seen record devaluations in the past two days, sending traders on a "selling frenzy."
$$$ Amongst other things we can add to the checklist of Asian investment banker stereotypes:
a). They only use Pentel PD345 'Quicker Clicker' pencils to get 1600s and 800s on their SATs and GMATs, and;
b). The ever-augmenting length of those Turnbull & Asser's dress shirts they have to wear is sure to drive them into extinction.**
**Lucky for AIBs, Jason weathers the frustrations of his people with the grace and diligence of a "24-hour Chinese restaurant and same day dry cleaning service." [Leveraged Sell Out]

Related

Write-Offs: 01.14.13

$$$ Dell Shares Surge After Report of Possible Buyout [DealBook] $$$ Herbalife Rises to Highest Price Since Ackman Pyramid Allegation [Bloomberg] $$$ Guy prefers startups to banking [Pando Daily] $$$ Obama Said to Consider Morgan Stanley’s Porat at Treasury [Bloomberg] $$$ Nudists Seek Corporate Sponsor Looking for Greater Exposure [WSJ] $$$ A multi family office is looking for a senior private banker to cover LatAm markets or US onshore clients from Miami [DBCC] $$$ Skowron Fights Bank $$$ "Bank robbers have made off with an unknown amount of loot after digging a 100-foot tunnel into a Berlin bank from a nearby parking garage. To get into the building, they broke through two concrete walls. Police have no leads." [Der Spiegel] $$$ The Wall Street Journal Has Bedbugs [DI] $$$ Holy Crap, These Dogs Interrupting A Soccer Match Are Adorable [Deadspin]

Write-Offs: 06.14.12

$$$ Central banks ready to combat Greek market storm [Reuters] $$$ Things to know about the London Whale and capital models [DEM] $$$ Things to know about TARGET2 balances [Felix Salmon] $$$ Things to know about EFSF and ESM leverage and guarantees [TF] $$$ Here is a behavioral economics paper with the keywords "anti-social behaviour, nastiness, money-burning" [Universitat Jaume via Robin Hanson] $$$ "I have been a judge in the Miss Universe pageant three times, and I assure you it is not fixed. Even though Donald Trump made it very clear to us whom he would vote for, I always voted my conscience. ... I voted for the contestant I thought was the most beautiful." [The Daily] $$$ You should really think about becoming a credit analyst for BNP Paribas in New York [DBCC] $$$ Quest Software Brings in Competing Bid Using Clever Corporate Engineering [Dealpolitik] $$$ Maiden Lane Loans Repaid, but Assets Still Need to Be Sold [DealBook] $$$ Ray Dalio Is Building a Baseball Card Collection [NYM] $$$ The Nobel Foundation lost some money in the stock market [Fortune] $$$ Man Who Saved Mouse from Being Eaten By Cat Catches Black Plague [Gawker]

Write-Offs: 07.18.12

$$$ Behind Credit Default Swaps Market, a Cartel Left Open to Collusion [Dealbook] $$$ Jim Chanos: Hewlett Packard Is 'Ultimate Value Trap' [CNBC] $$$ Ackman Takes Activist Stance on P&G [CNBC] $$$ Goldman CEO Blankfein Said To Meet With Obama Adviser Lew [Bloomberg] $$$ Racketeering Charges Filed in Hedge Fund Divorce [NYO] $$$ Banker Tattoos [BuzzFeed] $$$ ...every so often, Ackman and his wife whirl through their Rolodexes and invite their unattached friends to come on over to their place and spend a few hours meeting other singles. In this day and age of internet dating, the Ackmans like to give that stressful process a personal touch. And last night was one of those nights when the man who runs $10 billion Pershing Square Capital Management and his wife Karen, who trained as a landscape architect, threw open the doors and hoped for the best. While no officials statistics have been kept, people who have attended the events say plenty of people have found their mates here. At this week’s event? Roughly 200 people attended, according to someone who was there. [Reuters, earlier] $$$ "Dozens of traffic signs have been destroyed by prostitutes performing pole-dances in the street to attract clients, officials in New Zealand's biggest city have revealed." [Telegraph] $$$ Charlie Gasparino: U.S. Insider Trading Investigation Winding Down (Maybe) [FBN] $$$ Ex-JPMorgan Banker Admits Role in Muni Bid-Rigging Scheme [Reuters] $$$ Paulson, Rubin Warn on Dangers of 'Fiscal Cliff' [CNBC] $$$ WWII Shipwreck Yields $38 Million of Silver From Atlantic [Bloomberg] $$$ High school kid accused of running in a potential $3 million marijuana ring. [CP]