Skip to main content

Write-Offs: 07.25.06

  • Author:
  • Updated:

$$$ How To Pick A Tailor For Those Beauteous Blue Shirts And Bewitching Black Pants. Step 1: A less-than-firm handshake is a sign to move on-- he's likely to not have a very steady grip on the clippers during the inseam portion of the process. [Bankers Ball]
$$$ The Future Gay Investment Banker on...Sex and the City. You knew this was coming. [Future I Banker]
$$$ Wealthy stock broker seeks "special girl" who's "able to act appropriately in front of very prestigious people." New wardrobe, private bedroom and bathroom will be provided. We call shotgun on this one, ladies; we've always dreamt of a white horse-riding knight/broker who would sweep us off our feet with the offer of our very own lavatory, and no one's going to ruin this for us. And we mean no one. [Craigslist]
$$$ Do you like to Do-It-Yourself? [Wired]
$$$ Go ahead, punch that Goldman Sachs analyst in the nose, our (Lehman) brother; the "portable bone healing system" will soon be on the market. (He had it coming...when did you tell him it was okay for him--or anyone else-- to look at your girlfriend?)