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Write-Offs: 07.28.06

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$$$6'0 190 lbs investment banker seeks part-time job as next Dirk Diggler. But with more private-equity know-how. [craiglist]
$$$Need a little incentive to continue the self-imposed, handcuffed to the desk (and not in the good way), 80 hour work weeks? Try this on for size. Or maybe just the first floor. Or the foyer. Or the driveway. [Born Rich]
$$$LB, GS, ML slackers: keep racking up those poor performances every month and this could be you by the new year; the babysitter of a 12 year old coke-addict, living in an apartment furnished exclusively by Urban Outfitters. And with Hebe-Hair that just sits there and mocks you. [Cobrasnake]
$$$Alternatively, be a good little worker bee and you could one day be the proprietor of this.