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Yahoo is extremely pleased; investors not so much

Jeff Matthews imagines how Yahoo prepared for last night's earnings call.

“Now, how should we spin this delay?”
“I was thinking, ‘We are disappointed but remain upbeat’?”
“‘Upbeat’ is good, but ‘disappointed’ is bad. Very bad.”
"Right. ‘Disappointed’ is extremely bad. How about ‘We are cautiously upbeat’?"
“No—‘cautious’ is bad.’ They hate ‘cautious.’”
“Right. Hate ‘cautious.’ And ‘upbeat’ sounds trite. How about ‘Pleased’?”
“Better yet, ‘Extremely pleased….’”
“‘We are extremely pleased…’”
“And repeat it at least three times, just so they get it.”

Reading Between the Lines, Part II


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