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Clearly, This Is When A Private Plane Comes In Handy

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Jossip—which along with DealBreaker, Gawker and the Palm Beach Post is just about the only media outlet covering the Jeffrey Epstein story—notes that terrorists have totally screwed any plans Epstein might have had to fly commercial this weekend. No batteries or liquids allowed on planes?

Which more or less means Jeffrey Epstein's weekend is totally fucked. How can he enjoy a night of petting zoo on his private jet without massage oils and working vibrators? Talk about inconvenience.

Ah. Poor innocent Jossip. Epstein doesn’t fly commercial and you can bring whatever you want onto your private jet. This is what private planes are for. So even terrorists can’t fuck with your travel plans.
[Note: As we’ve said before, everything seems dirty when it is about Epstein, even perfectly ordinary phrases like “comes in handy.” Even "Palm Beach Post" is kind of icky and we're not sure why. We’re sorry. That’s not out fault. It’s either Epstein’s or those lying little drug addict sluts.]
[Another note: Shouldn’t we have gone with some version of “If Epstein can’t travel with lube and vibrators, the terrorists win?”—Ed. Uhm, are we still using that joke? If that hasn't jumped the shark, I just threw up in my mouth a little. Very funny. If we can still do these '—Ed' jokes, I think we can still do the terrorists win jokes.—Ed. I hope meta is still funny.]

Terrorists Totally Ruin Jeffrey Epstein's Weekend