Bloomberg reports that Bill Harrison will retire from his post as Chairman of JPMorgan by the end of the year and "and expects** to hand the title to Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon". Dimon will presumably continue doing what he's been doing for the last few years: running the company as if Harrison wasn't there. Harrison's further involvement with JPMorgan will be limited to impersonating a media-and-financial-services analyst from Goldman during analyst conference calls and making up for lost JPM membership revenue at Augusta National by spending as much time there as possible. We're not sure what Harrison's departing words will be, but we'd imagine it'll be something like this:
Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
** That's really not confirmable?
JPMorgan Chairman to Retire; Dimon Likely Successor [Bloomberg]