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No Exit: Investment Banking's Dead End

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Let's face it. You talk a good game. You avoid thinking of yourself as a baller or a mini-baller but you definitely engage in some mini-baller activities—overspending, gambling, flaunting cash—that you sometimes you regret. You know you are overcompensating. Because sometimes life as an analyst at an investment bank is pretty depressing. Those "sometimes" usually occur late at night on a Sunday, when your picking up too much food from the delivery guy in the lobby and knowing your friends are recovering from a weekend of fun and frolic while your last week is blending into the next, the numbers on the spreadsheet aren't lining up anymore and you just found out all the pitchbooks are missing pages 4 through seven.
So would things be better if you moved slantwise? Down a bit, and to the left, to a smaller, less-prestigious shop? That's the question our favorite new anonymous investment banker blog asks. The answers aren't pretty.

1. Better hours = no work to go around. NO WORK
ie no deal… ie CV looks like crap... ie you feel stupid because this is something you cannot bullshit your way out of – i-bankers are the gods of that and you cannot meander your way around this. You are stuck.
2. Learning experience = getting creative on how you should fill in your spare time after you visit for anodised pots and pans, because you have already spent money on other household bullshit you don’t need, but realise you do need after surfing the net for endless hours
3. No associate = You suddenly realise how much you miss them.

An Analyst misses/ his old Associate/ at the investment bank. That's just about the most heart breaking haiku we can imagine.

The grass is (fucking) greener...
[The Allnighter]