Skip to main content

So You Think You've Got What It Takes To Work For Morgan Stanley, Do You?

  • Author:
  • Updated:

Like the DealBookies said on Friday, in conjunction with Will Smith’s new movie “The Pursuit of Happyness,” [sic] Columbia Pictures is in the midst of holding a contest, for which the winner will be awarded what someone over at Sony decided “eff it, let’s just throw all our chips on the table and call it: 'the ultimate internship'." Applicants were to send in video clips for the company of their choosing, which included PlayStation, Yahoo, The Gap, NBC, People, The Hollywood Reporter, the NFL, and, wait for us to tie it into something a DealBreaker reader might be interested in, Morgan Stanley. Exclusive of PlayStation, which, let’s be honest, would be the coolest place to work, Mo’ Stanley’s obviously the pièce de résistance of this group. Quarrel with that statement if you like but you know it’s true. Think about it—Yahoo: poor man’s Google; NBC: subtract The Office, Conan and Brian Williams and we’re in the toilet; People: just too self-involved for our taste; The Gap: it’s The Gap; the NFL: it would probably help if we had some cursory knowledge of football to come up with a good argument for not wanting to work here…T.O.…Giants Stadium…the Jets…that’s all we’ve got; The Hollywood Reporter: just rubs us the wrong way. Like we were saying—Morgan Stanley: who wouldn’t want to work intern there?
Not Dieu-My Mimi N, Frances Jeffrey-Coker, Cameron D., and Ray Phillips, whose videos have landed them in the semi-finals. We don’t have much sway per who actually gets his/her moment in the sun with Mack the Knife but since we’ll be running a little poll later to see who you think is most deserving of the chance to knock boots with the J man, we’re going to break down the four hopefuls here:
Dieu-My Mimi N.: Scores high marks for the witty repartee she strikes with the camera—“I stumbled upon this internship when I was checking my deleted e-mails. I know, right, who checks their deleted e-mails?” and for knowing at such a young age that the first rule of seduction is ‘treat ‘em like dirt and they’ll stick to you like glue,’ as evidenced with, “The first company that caught my eye was Morgan Stanley. I know right, can you believe it? [rolls eyes] Morgan Stanley.”
Frances Jeffrey-Coker: We feel good about the self-deprecating, “I’m studying mechanical engineering at Columbia University. A lot people think engineers are nerds… [silence]… [knowing glance at camera]…No comment.” We don’t feel good about the fact that Jeffrey-Coker identifies the saying “carpe diem” with The Lion King. You incorporate TLK into your Morgan Stanley video, you talk about “hakuna matata.” What’s unclear about that? Maybe “carpe diem” is a part of the Broadway play (not likely), maybe it’s the opening number in some new version on YouTube, but we’ve only seen the animated version released by Walt Disney circa 1994 and not once is the phrase “carpe diem” mentioned; “hakuna matata,” yes, but “hakuna matata” is not “carpe diem” and we’re sorry we’re about to say “what the fuck” but seriously, what the fuck? You can’t get pull stunts like this and expect to be hired by Morgan Stanley, okay? Good shoes, though.
Cameron D: Uncomfortably charismatic. You know the type—little too smooth for their own good. But the kid quotes Michael Jackson and let’s call a spade a spade—Morgan Stanley could use a little Michael Jackson in its life.
Ray Phillips: Normally people who quote Ayn Rand make us want to choke on the written-in-Latin, sheepskin diploma given to us by our liberal arts bastion-of-people-who-quote Ayn Rand alma mater but here…actually, that’s it. This kid has Stanley written all over him. Phillips also apparently runs “a couple of newspapers,” but that’s pretty much superfluous at this point. He had us at Objectivism.
Mugging for the Camera, and a Bank Job [DealBook]
'Pursue It': The Ultimate Internship Contest [Sony Pictures]