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Service Guiding D.Book Through Planespotting

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While we’re nothing if not accustomed to inspiring people, we didn’t know our reach was as high up (town) as the New York Times (43rd Street—it’s quite the hike!). But now that we’re here, we might as well grab the mic and offer some pointers.
DealBreakers Guide To Planespotting:
1.If you’re going to ’Spot, you shall spot with Dead Hookers. One does not happen without the other. We cannot stress this enough. For the uninformed, a quick tutorial:
= Dead hooker
X 1 = More mundane and predictable than Mel Gibson’s anti-Semitism. (C’mon. Man Without A Face? Don’t even pretend you didn’t know that was a metaphor for Hitler.)
X 5 = Put her in a bag and walk promptly but cautiously out of the hotel. Drive to the docks. Make the drop with a guy named Snakes. Speak to no one. You were never here. Where? Exactly.
2.Sentences like “The chief executive of AirTran Holdings said his company would be interested in buying gates from the airlines in such a situation, The Wall Street Journal reported Friday” have absolutely no business in a Planespotting post. Too many facts. Too many instances of actual reporting. Too much “useful” information. Too much this. Too much that. Not enough “what the hell kind of crazy drugs is this sociopath on?”
3.IM convos.
4.Sprinkles—or lack thereof.
Sorkin et al-- if more help is necessary, feel free to stop by the office...anytime.