Skip to main content

Davos Was (Is) For Pussies

  • Author:
  • Updated:

At least according to Bloomberg’s Michael Lewis. And why, pray tell, is it appropriate to refer to the 5-day long E-binge as such?
1. A lot of people say a lot of things at Davos but no one really has the cojones to, you know, ‘say’ anything.

Examine the public statements extruded by the World Economic Forum any year and you'll find the same warmed-over prudence, the same dreary feeling that someone is about to punctuate the nebulous tedium with a proposal to create a commission.

2. Phonies wanted.

Davos is where people with no talent for risk-taking gather to imagine what actual risk-takers might do. Davos Man needs to sit in judgment; Davos Man needs to brood. So great is this need that he will brood about virtually anything, no matter how little he knows about it.

3. We haven't seen this much overthetop worrying such we attended the 1987 Jewish Mom Expo at Nassau Colisseum.

``The surging demand for derivatives is making financial markets more vulnerable to any slowdown in the global economy.''
The piece came with supporting quotes from European Central Bank President Jean-Claude Trichet, Bank of China Vice President Zhu Min and the deputy chief of India's planning commission, Montek Singh Ahluwalia -- but not a worrisome fact in sight. None of them seemed to understand that when you create a derivative you don't add to the sum total of risk in the financial world; you merely create a means for redistributing that risk. They have no evidence that financial risk is being redistributed in ways we should all worry about. They're just -- worried.

4. Most of the people who attended this thing spend their days in bubble baths while being fed bon bons and having US Weekly read aloud to them. The ones with heroin problems hold out their arms at various intervals and have someone who actually bears the title “heroin injector” inject the drug into their pliable (as a result of inactivity) veins.

Even if these global financial elites knew something useful that you and I don't -- that, say, 50 hedge funds were about to go under and drag with them half the world's biggest banks along with a third of the Third World -- they would be unlikely to do anything about it.

5. The reason people go to Davos is because it makes them feel good about themselves in ways their mothers (fathers/husband/swives/doormen/dry cleaners) never did.

…perhaps the only point of standing in the snow and expressing your doubts to a television camera to prove that you are the sort of person whose doubts matter…

Davos Is for Wimps, Ninnies, Pointless Skeptics