Dennis Kozlowski: You Should Still Be Thanking Me For The Tyco Roman Orgy

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Sure, it’s all fun and games when you’re married to a guy who appreciates the fact that sometimes you just need a $6,000 shower curtain to compliment your $30 million penthouse, and who hires crackpot (or genius?) party planners to throw you a birthday bash replete with ice sculptures of the David urinating Stoli. But you’ve got to kind of have it in the back of your head that divorcing that same man might not be as pleasant. If she didn’t, Dennis Kozlowski’s former wife, Karen, is getting a crash course in what disentangling yourself from a dick is like. (Hint: not as fun it sounds). The ex-Tyco CEO, who’s currently serving an eight and one-third year sentence for misappropriating in excess of $400 million of the company’s funds, “has refused to produce even one document which may reflect his present wherewithal.” There are, of course, a host of reasons why Big K might not want to reveal his financial information, including a desire to “make it difficult for shareholders who he has victimized to track down those assets down,” according to Jay Eisenhofer, an attorney in a pending shareholder securities class-action suit against Kozlowski and Tyco. The other is a fear of Inmate #483, who'll likely demand more than just 2 cigs and some spooning next time Denny-boy needs some protection.
KOZ WON'T COUGH UP $ PAPERS [NYPost]

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Dennis Kozlowski Says Steve Forbes Defamed Him

While he’s not teaching GED courses to fellow inmates, doing laundry for the child molesters in his cell unit and dreaming about vodka-pissing statues, Dennis Kozlowski is busy trying to repair his reputation. He’s given interviews to Morley Safer and other journalists and has been a model prisoner since he was convicted of fraud in 2005. Koz is also, apparently, reading books about himself and now he’s suing billionaire Steve Forbes for what he claims are false and defamatory comments in in Forbes' 2009 book "Power, Ambition, Glory: The Stunning Parallels Between Great Leaders of the Ancient World and Today ... and the Lessons You Can Learn."