I Wish The Government Would Keep Its Nose Out Of My Drug Trafficking
Let me get serious here for a second—circa last June, when I heard there was an opening to work under the inimitable legend-- no, god-- that is John Carney, I got excited. VERY excited. I jumped, at the chance (of a lifetime), you might say. My parents, on the other hand, while pretty huge JC fans in their own right, were less pleased. “You know how you’ve built up an aversion to starvation?” my dad asked me in a tone that I did not appreciate. “If you take a job in journalism, you’ll have to wean yourself off of that habit you have of eating three meals a day.” “Listen, asshole Dad,” I said, “That’s not going to be a problem. I’ll be able to supplement my DealBreaker income with the money I make peddling weed and the insane returns I get on meth. Plus, since it’s ‘illegal,’ I don’t have to include those earnings on my 1040. I can work with Big J AND get to eat.” The logic seemed to pacify the senior Levin, and has been working out rather well for me. Until now.
"Prohibition-era gangster Al Capone contended, 'The government can't collect legal taxes from illegal money,' but he was wrong and wound up with eight years in prison for tax evasion," reports MSN Money. As tax time comes back around, the IRS would like to remind you that ill-gotten gains are taxable:
Illegal income. Illegal income, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.
Stolen property. If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless, in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner.
Bribes, Theft, Freebies, and Other Taxes You Didn't Know You Owed [Reason Magazine]