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Like You Wouldn't Do The Same Thing, Given The Circumstances

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Just because you’re a billionaire doesn’t mean you need to pilfer away your clams like a sailor on leave in the name of style, substance or safety. Carl Icahn doesn’t believe in buying $23 million jets anymore than he does in having a pair of limited edition Juicy Couture leopard-print skivvies (just kidding—he’s got one for every day of the week). Anyway, in a recent interview with Avenue magazine, Icahn recalled a flight he took with Leon Black and his wife Deborah, on a leased jet, during which he shamed Black for wasting his money in the name of jet-ownership, and played a round of Hide the Salami Smoke Coming Out of the Engine from Deborah.

"And while I'm saying this [$23 million is too much to spend on a plane], I hear a pop. I'm not kidding you. I look out the window, and it's like in the war movies. There's smoke coming out of the engine . . . I close the drapes. Deborah says, 'What's that?' And I say, 'Nothing. Nothing.' . . . I run into the cockpit, and the guys are yelling, 'Mayday! Mayday!' Leon asks if anything is wrong, and I say, 'Nothing, nothing, Leon.'

And then Deborah was like “Carl, I'm not a doctor, but should I be worried about the fact that the wing looks like it’s about to break off?” And I was like, “No, no, that’s nothing, look, a shiny object!” But she wouldn't stop harping on it, so I shot her. What?