Skip to main content

You Wish You Had My Childhood

  • Author:
  • Updated:

There are a bunch of things we liked about Forbes’s profile on Lloyd Blankfein:
1.Writer Neil Weinberg describes LB as a “nebbishy Master of the Universe,” which, considering the source, has got to sting. (Just kidding, who wouldn’t want to be regarded as “poor, unfortunate” and “un-endowed”?*)
2.It’s full of facts.

Goldman's earnings set an alltime high for investment banks in 2005--then grew 76% last year to set a new record. In 2006 revenue rose 50% to $38 billion (net of interest cost). Its dealmakers handled an industry-high $1.1 trillion in mergers and acquisitions; its wealth managers raked in $94 billion in new customer money. Its stock climbed 55% to hover near $200.

3.It reaches out to insomniacs and coke addicts alike:

Blankfein can't sleep some nights.

4.It includes pie charts. Pie charts!

And one thing we viscerally did not like:
1.The fact that Neil Weinberg (or whoever came up with the title “Sachs Appeal”) has a disturbingly similar sense of humor to our father, who’s go-to joke is the following:

A bunch of kids get on a bus and go over to an old man and start heckling him. At one point they say to him, "Hey Grandpa, what do you think about sex?" he responds "I think it's a great depahtment store."

Sachs Appeal [Forbes via DealBook]