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“Zephyr” in the sky at night I wonder, do my parents know about my 45 year old Finnish girlfriend?

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Hushing those courageous critics of child molestation, MySpace has introduced new parental notification software that totally prevents you from meeting Wuvs2Molest14 out by that dumpster behind the mall. Code-named “Zephyr,” the software is designed to shame you into getting a job once your parents discover that you are masquerading as CutieTimberlake69, age 12. Of the 60 million monthly MySpace users, 4% are 2-11 years old (2?!).
Thirty-three states are currently pressuring MySpace to make its site safer for teens while the other seventeen states according to many Republican strategists aggressively promote the online exploitation of our nation’s youth. It is unclear what affect the implementation of this privacy software will have on the market (NWS is down almost 0.75%), but look for a boost in healthcare from hearing loss due to melodramatic teenager room-door slamming.
MySpace Moves to Give Parents More Information [WSJ]