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It’s A Long (And Cleavy) Fall From Several Failed Bids For The LSE

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The mainstream financial media would like you people to believe that the biggest story of the day is Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Texas Pacific Group’s buyout of energy giant TXU. But the mainstream financial media—the WSJ, the Times, is, as per usual, lying to you. Hurts, doesn’t it? We’ve been there. Which is why we’ve decided to not let them take you for the proverbial ride they get such yuks out of taking you on any longer. The actual biggest story of the day is…

…the results of our Who Will Ring The NASDAQ Closing Bell Next poll!
As those of you who were lucid at the time will recall, last week we brought the news (from another news source) that the NASDAQ had made the champagne wishes and cookie covered dreams of New York’s finest socialites come true, with the life-changing opportunity to ring the ‘DAQ’s closing bell. On February 13 it was blogging dandy/man-candy Derek Blasberg, Hearst scion-cum-jewelry designer Fabiola Beracasa, and slutty schoolgirl y aspiring writer Claire Bernard who stirred such jealousy in Carney that his exact words were “Those bitches!,” and we felt it our obligation, nay, our duty, to find out who would be next. But we didn’t have that much time on our hands—watching re-runs of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose-- er, we mean working hard to bring you the most important business news stories of the day really sucked up a lot of our time. So, as we’re wont to do, we ran a poll and let you decide. The resluts may surprise you.
Beating out Tinsley Mortimer, Camilla Al-Fayed, Julia Restoin-Roitfeld by a landslide, and Rachel Roy, Ivanka Trump and Margherita Maccapani Missoni by smaller but nonetheless tangible margins was Lydia Hearst-Shaw, model and heiress to a bunch of magazines, who you voted to be the next Socialite to ring the NASDAQ’s Closing Bell. Which confirms our long-held suspicion that while the NYSE might be the venue for brains, the NAS’ is the more appropriate forum for quirky hats, towheads, and plunging necklines. That and a good place to hide from the SLA.
Earlier: This Is Apparently What Happens When Your Bid For The LSE Is Rejected (Several Times)