Skip to main content

Private Equity Metaphysics: Sit-ups, CNBC, And Out-of Body Experiences With Steve Schwarzman

  • Author:
  • Updated:

It's starting to look like its Blackstone day here at DealBreaker. Or maybe even Steve Schwarzman day. But then again, it's starting to look like a Steve Schwarzman world these days, so maybe it makes sense.
Here's a Wharton house organ quoting Schwarzman from a recent speech.

"I'm doing my sit-ups and watching CNBC. Suddenly somebody starts talking about me on television ....The business has gone into a weird zone of visibility. For those of us who have done it for a long time, it's strange," said Schwarzman in a keynote address at the recent Wharton Private Equity and Venture Capital Conference, whose theme was "Exploring New Frontiers."

He goes on to discuss how private equity brought him to a higher metaphysical plane.

"A $5 billion bid would have been unbelievable. For us to do a $36 billion offer -- one that was accepted -- is an out-of-body experience."

We cannot get the image of the spirit of Steve Shwarzman floating above $36 billion dollars out of our heads. His arms are spread out, fingers splayed. His sit-up honed taught belly floats several feet above the piles of money. His eyes are glowing. Steve Schwarzman controls not just the "most powerful" private equity firm. He controls the astral plane!

Private Equity Players Hit the Big Time