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The Ball's In Your Court As To Whether Or Not You Want This Book About (Racquet) Balls

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Just so we’re not accused of “scoop backdating” when Forbes breaks this story on Thursday, we’re prematurely putting it out there now that sources are saying the Racquet & Tennis Club (favored by several of the more prominent hedgie, I-bankers and playboys in our readership) will be issuing a book about—wait for it—racquet ball(!) to its members in the very near future. The cost of the book is $100, and, on the off-chance that you don’t want it, you must send a letter to the club’s manager indicating why you have no respect for the sanctity of the time-honored sport and the institution that practically invented it (which, as one of our sources aptly put it, “means they’re basically daring you to say no”). If at some later point in time you should feel the strings of regret tugging at your heart whilst you watch William Lockwood IV and Cushing Donelan reading aloud from their personal copies, you may formally request your own in writing, for the original $100, plus another $50 for having such poor judgment in the first place. Although we have been told by several people in the know that a note has already been sent out to R&TC members detailing this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and the “choice” they must make, a call placed to the club this morning resulted in a spokesperson’s vociferous denial that such a book exists, and us being hung up on. Which we take to mean fresh copies are being placed in lockers as we speak. Know anything? We’re all ears.