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Until recently, we'd been vehemently opposed to MySpace. We were never really that into FaceBook either but were peer pressured into opening an account (you know how it is) back in late '04 when we were young and it was in its heyday. Let's be honest—the two sites exist solely for the purpose of facilitating hook-ups (whether consensual or non, between "barely-legal" and actually legal individuals) and we've always preferred lubing ourselves up with alcohol and meeting and mating the old-fashioned way.**
Unfortunately, we've come to realize that not only is this not how the vast majority of our peer group would like to do it, but it's not how—wait for it-- Private Equity firms would like to do it. Exhibit A: the friend request a DealBreaker reader was sent from Graystone Park Enterprises, which has apparently entered the land of jailbait and do-it-yourself web design for what seems to be lead-generation purpose. Behold it in all its horrifying and mystifying glory, here. Now if Mark Zuckerberg could just manage get the Blackstone crew to open an account with him, surely he'd be able to leverage that kind of stret cred into the $2 billion he's been holding out for all this time (but we hear Schwarzman and co. are partial to Friendster, so who knows).

**Quick story (if Carney can write posts entirely based on having a girl over to watch a movie, you can give me the floor for one minute): freshman year, before the FaceBooks and the MySpaces and the WannaCybers of the world, we did what all the other 18 year olds were doing and got hopped up on cheap beer and made some bad decisions, namely going home with a boy who, were it not for a man named Edward 40-hands, we never would have gone home with. Later, in a moment of sobriety, we thought to ourselves, "I've got to get out of here. I'll just roll out of bed and be on my way." And we did. From the lofted-bed, six feet in the air. The words "Do you want me to throw your clothes down" haven't been the same to us ever since, nor has our left wrist, which was quite nearly fractured during the fall. Point is, this was embarrassing/awkward enough as is—now imagine if we'd had to live this down, in addition to the fact that we'd actually spent time "friend-requesting" this person and all that jazz prior to the evening? We probably would've had to kill ourselves then and there.