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Brian Williams, However, Could Definitely Get Away With A Stunt Like This

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You’ve got to love Jim Cramer, whose car—we’re told—is a adorned with a pair of fuzzy dice and a great big “Fuck it, I do what I want” bumper sticker below the right tail light.* Aesthetic sensibilities aside, it’s this sociopathic belief that he can do or say anything he wants that may put Jimbo in some hot water with the SEC, CNBC and a few of his colleagues in the Englewood Cliffs cafeteria. Although we’re told that Cramer is actually not a CNBC employee --and thus perhaps not subject to all of the constraints that would come with working for CNBC-- it stands to reason that he must have some sort of a morality clause in his contract. Such a clause would likely say that he cannot publicly disparage a colleague (Bob Pisani) or, as someone close to the matter put it, “pissing on another reporter” is most likely a violation of his contract (and standard rules of decorum in the Western world). Jonathan Wald and Co. were also probably not so pleased with Sideshow Bob not even trying to pull a, “If I Did It,” this is how I did it deal but more of a “I Definitely Did It” and this is how.
A few people also seem to believe that the SEC can make Cramer “give back ill-gotten gains,” especially since they apparently “hate him.” But Cramer seems to rest assured that his relationship with Eliot Spitzer, forged at Harvard, will protect him. At a lecture at the 92nd Street Y a few months back, Cramer told the audience that a reporter had called him to get dirt on the couple, and his response was “I’m never going to say anything bad about the Spitzers.” When pressed further for comment, Cramer asked him, “What do you need to know?” the answer apparently being “Something no one’s ever said about Shiva (Eliot’s wife).” Cramer offered, “She’s a knock-out.” That kind of street cred has got to count for something. Cramer also bragged about being tight with his former boss at Goldman Sachs, Jon Corzine, who he was neighbors with in Summit, New Jersey for more than several years. So it’s good to know he’s covered in both NY and NJ. He’s probably also only one or two working lunches with CT AG Blumenthal away from a tri-state area hat trick of immunity.
Perhaps most shocking in all of this is the fact that at the time we’re putting up this post—2:01 p.m.—Hank Blodget has made no mention of Mr. Cramer on This can only mean one thing—he’s up to something.
Earlier: Jim Cramer: How To Manipulate Stock Prices
*We have no reason to believe that the person who told us this has ever seen Jim Cramer's car.