Going Down With Dana Vachon

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The metrosexualization of Wall Street is no longer breaking news—an article from last week's Journal noted that of all the potential subjects for a piece on fashion, the male segment was the most eager to comment—so it's not particularly surprising that both profiles this weekend of investment banker-cum-writer, Dana Vachon, address his clothes first, work second. Both New York magazine and the NYT relish in noting that Mr. Vachon, or DNasty or Mon Chichi, as he’s called around these parts, is known for wearing a blazer and white pocket square not entirely unreminiscent of Alex P. Keaton, though he confesses to channeling “a young man who is naked and needs not to be” and adds, “if I can pay some homage to Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz, well I try and do that too,” while swathing his body in fabric. Point is—this is a man you can trust, and not just with your exposed, vulnerable body.
Mr. Nasty is not afraid to tell it like it is, only using the smallest bit of veiling to slightly, if at all, protect the anonymity of his subjects. Here’s an easy one, just ‘cause we like the look of your face: what is the real life investment bank from which M&A’s fictional one, JS Spenser, is based (hint: its logo, since a rather notable merger with another bank several years back, pays homage to the “NASCAR font"). You probably don’t even have to buy the book for that one.
Here’s a harder one, just ‘cause we don’t like the look of your face: who is the sex-crazed aunt whose ability to defy age and gravity is rivaled only by her desire to de-virginize the protagonist’s best friend from JP—JS—Spencer, one heavenly Easter weekend? That one might require a purchase, or at least a few minutes in one of those fairly comfortable chairs at Borders. (Though it's pretty rare to find one of those things unoccupied, which some might regard as a conspiracy on the part of the store to get people to actually buy books, if some took the time to think about it. The Fascists.)
There’s also the character with the proclivity for hardcore S&M (that qualification was wholly necessary, for those of you who still need to be encouraged to make the purchase, and who are encouraged by those sorts of things); the fellow first-years; the “V.P of M&A”; the “Managing Director.” We can’t reveal who any of these people are at least until April 5—when the book comes out—but if you run out and get it now, you should be finished in time to place bets on who the newly monikered “Belted Potato” is based on, though if you work for “JS Spencer,” you can probably take a pretty good guess, re: that higher-up who's been piling on all kinds of weight, among other things.
Apropos of what we just said, the Times piece also noted that Mr. Nasty had to stop off at the Brazilian consulate the next day to pick up a visa. We’re not saying there’s a connection between such an appointment and the fact that Goldman Sachs recently announced plans to double its efforts down yonder. But we’re not not saying that. What we are saying is that the Masters of the Universe de Rio might want to watch what/who they’re eating. Mr. Nasty certainly will be.
DNasty Boy [NYM]
Made in Manhattan [NYT]
JS Spencer
Dana Vachon will not give you his jacket: SUPERMOGUL’S BLAZERWATCH 2007 [SuperMogul]

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