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Service Guiding You Through Tonight's Lay

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(This is 'New York' mag's pic; we'd never be so gauche as to suggest that this is
where you go to grab ass. If you're looking for that kind of thing, try New Jersey)

Have you been itching to nail a Wall Streeter but are unsure of where to get the job done, short of stopping by 277 Park on the way home tonight? (Let’s be honest—85 Broad too far out of everyone’s way to f*** a dude who’ll who will kick you out just prior to the culmination so he can finish to the sound of Jim Cramer's voice). Lucky for us—er, you, New York magazine’s annual Best of New York issue is out and, in addition to naming the best place in the city for PB&J, an “alternative briefcase,” and a one-night-stand, they’ve singled out Fizz on East 55th as the “Best Place to Meet A Wall Street Guy.” Previously a members only club, the stop between Marquee and UES apartments now only requires an annual fee of $1,000 from half its members, many of whom are “Masters of the Universe from Goldman Sachs and Lehman Brothers…hoping to clean up in the singles market.” Since we’ve never been to the ‘izz, preferring to pick up our Wall Streeters at Joshua Tree and occasionally Dorian's, we checked in with former JP Morgan analyst/Mergers and Acquisitions auteur, Dana Vachon, who we felt confident could speak on the matter just as eloquently and informatively as he did RE: the Weill/Prince tête-à-tête.
DB: can I get your thoughts re:
DV:It's like Au Bar on drugs, which is to say it is just like Au Bar.
DV: On most nights it's totally empty
DV: On good nights, generally after benefits, it resembles a tweaked-out Sultan's caravan
DV: minus the virgins
DV: Fizz is rather like Lichtenstein; a place you pass through, but not a destination in its own right
DV: And if you think that Ivana Trump is writing thousand dollar checks for her membership, then you must live in Lichtenstein
DV: because I have lots of far less glamorous friends who are members and not one of them pays a dime
DB: interesting, interesting. What else?
DV: well Ivana just got a boob job
DV: Did it have anything to do with fizz?
DV: I don't know
DV: But it had a lot to do with gravity, that is for sure
DV: and as this place is in a basement, perhaps the gravity is a touch stronger, eh?
DV: So is Fizz responsible for Ivanka's boob job?
DV: I think the readers ought to decide.
Best Place to Meet a Wall Street Guy [NYM]