Cosmetological Catastrophe

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Footnoted.org dissects the Regis (RGS) press release involving the merging of its 51 accredited cosmetology schools (how exactly does a cosmetology school gets accredited we wonder?) with Empire Education Group. The subtext – Regis dropped the ball, or at least the curling iron, with an aggressive expansion into beauty schools starting 3 years ago.
Regis’ spin, from the 8K:

“In order to maximize the enormous potential of the beauty school division, it would be necessary for Regis to invest heavily in information technology platforms and management [Windows Vista also does your hair]. Merging with Empire is by far the best and fastest way for us to achieve our goals. We are highly confident [Do these beauty schools make us look fat?] that Empire’s management team will operate the beauty schools at the highest level [Cosmetology grade inflation]. Regis will be able to add significant value [an ungodly amount of mousse] to the venture with our strong education and marketing programs coupled with the ancillary benefits that the Vidal Sassoon Academies [especially after Vidal Sassoon Academy 4: Beauticians on Patrol] (which are not part of this transaction) and Horst Rechelbacher [Gesundheit?] (the founder of Aveda and a beauty industry icon [A smiley face with bangs]) will provide. In addition, we will have double the number of qualified graduates who will have placement opportunities at our Regis operated salons [Bulge bracket salon opportunity - this is no SuperCuts].”

Beauty school dropout… - [Footnoted.org]

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