Yesterday’s poll, “Who’s Got Your Back?”, brought some interesting, some predictable, and some horribly misguided results.
John Thain: 2.4%
Resides in Rye; please relate back to Fuld’s championship squash career.
Robert Kindler: 4.0%
This is one of those cases in which, despite our professed lovelike bare minimum of toleration of our readers, we’re going to have to say—this was a blunder on par with WestLB’s “Oops, we just bought 14% of DaimlerChrysler.” Sure, Kindler’s one of those loveable nice guys who’ll throw a lavish book party for just about anyone, but cross him and you’ll be looking at the business end of claw that could cut reinforced steel. Shame on all of you.
Stanley O’Neal: 6.3%
As one commenter points out, “Stan systematically eliminated everyone in his path—and even those who helped him along the path—to the CEO’s chair at Merrill.” But here’s the thing—now that he’s in the big boy seat, Stan’s going to do everything he can to protect himself—not you. (Though there may be some truth to the rumors that he let the air out of a Goldman Sachs associate's tires just to let me know there'd be no messing with Merrill Lynch's first-years).
Philip Goldstein: 6.3%
“You motherfuckers aren’t going to get away with this.”
Chuck Prince: 7.1%
On the one hand—has nothing to lose. On the other hand—has put at least 17,000 people in that same position, and they probably have better access to brass knuckles and unbridled hate.
Lloyd Blankfein: 9.5%
If there’s some reason any of you would like to offer at this time for this poor showing, other than the obvious—blatant anti-Semitism—I’m all ears.
Jamie Dimon: 10.3%
Good thinking on this one—we wouldn’t want the head of what’s essentially a commercial bank defending us, either.
The Big Three
John Carney: 11.9%
Where he doesn’t have these guys beat in the money, Crutchy McHobbles A Lot does in age.
Hank Paulson: 15.1%
Despite his well-known love of nature and friend of the animals disposition, if provoked, Hank Paulson could crush a man with his pinky finger (also: could palm a basketball with ease). Additionally, he’s a Christian Scientist and therefore has no regard for his own well-being.
John Mack: 27.0%
The perfect storm: nickname that incorporates the word “knife,” Lebanese heritage, Duke University degree.