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Reuters Reads Reuters So You Don't Have To

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You know how there are some people in the DealBreaker audience who like to leave comments about how media people know nothing about finance and we should go back to where we came from and, “Hey, at what address can I send my underwear to for Keith Hahn?” A lot of those readers will probably be somewhat ticked off to hear that a bevy of financial journalists will now not only make your blood pressure raise with “how frighteningly little [they] know about how things work on Wall Street” but actually affect things that happen on Wall Street. Still with us? Reuters introduced a new “sentiment analysis” feature today in which computers will read their articles, decided whether they are positive or negative and then trigger trades based on those results. FINalternatives reports that the new service “allows the machines to interpret the sentiment of news stories as they are published,” i.e. faster than your average trader.
Numerical “sentiment scores” are assigned to the words and phrases in the article and then totaled to give a positive, negative or neutral report card to the company in question. Does anyone else find it a bit disconcerting that Bess Levin or her counterpart at Reuters could be triggering hedge fund trades, based on the fact that she chose to write a scathing article about Apple, after her brand new Mac Book crashed for the third time in six weeks?

Reuters Gets Sentimental


You Don't Have To Look Like That If You Don't Want To

Have the past several years wreaked havoc on your looks? Is your face starting to look like an old catcher's mitt? Do you wake up with new wrinkles every day? Do you stare into the mirror and wonder who the old, haggard looking man staring back is? Does it look like a bag lady has taken up residence under your eyes? Do you catch a glimmer of your reflection and think, "Why would anyone want to fuck me? I'm hideous." Are you generally disgusted with yourself? Do you want to do something about it, something involving a doctor's office and needles, but are afraid of what people might think? Don't be! According to Bloomberg lots of guys are taking 20 to "refresh" themselves and in fact, financial services employees represent "the fastest growing segment" of Dr. Dendy Engelman's "patient population." Everybody does it, it's just that no one talks about it. Easing Stress In Time For The Weekend [BloombergTV]