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Can I Touch You...There?

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We’re hearing that Tom Hudson—last seen “dispatching interns to a PetSmart store a half mile down the road [from his office] to buy minnows for his fish to devour, to the leering delight of his staff” and doling out proxy swag—is looking for a new crew to swab his deck. An anonymous source close to Pirate Capital tells us that Hudson is “looking for new investors in order to get the full tax benefit. Since he blew up his entire marketing staff (well, his entire staff in reality), he’ll be using two Investor Relations personnel (one of whom is Isa Bolotin), and a former intern. Looks like Tom Hudson finally got back to his roots after blowing out half his portfolio and producing zero returns for the year.” And also, on a personal note, blacklisting DealBreaker from receiving those super cool t-shirts (we have hard evidence, inquire within).
Hear anything? You know where to findus. And here’s a free one, just because we like the look of your face: Hudson’s gal-pal, Ms. Bolotin, is the offspring of none other than Mr. Michael Bolton. Who was born Michael Bolotin. Who may or may not have money invested in Pirate. Who can be seen here, singing and screwing up the National Anthem.

Isa and Jason [Wedding Channel]
Michael Bolton