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Outlook For The New BP

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How will things change at BP under the new Tony Hayward regime? Since it was announced yesterday that chief exec John Browne had resigned, effective immediately, it’s the question that’s been weighing on all our minds (after “What would a hostile take-over by Rupert Murdoch feel like?” (A. Awkward) and “How can I get this wine stain out?” (A. Club soda and salt)). Luckily, Reuters has some nifty answers (and a few gay innuendos, too, ‘cause that’s how they roll).
First of all, the Starship BP will no longer have a Captain who kind people might refer to as “distinguished looking” (read: old); Hayward is a “boyish-looking 49 year-old.” Point: BP-TH. But don’t start celebrating just yet: Junior apparently has no interest in taking care of his appearance (in stark contrast to the “always immaculately-groomed Browne”), which means no more eye candy at the helm and almost certainly suggests that spa treatments for good employees on the company dime are over. Point: BP-LJB.
Reuters also notes that things may lighten up around the office with the more “down-to-earth” and less “distant” Hayward, which will likely please the staff, until it realizes that Mr. Good Times, who “doesn’t work on weekends apart from some Sunday evenings” and “takes all [his] holidays” is running BP into the toilet. Browne didn’t turn what was essentially a failed company into “the second-largest non-government controlled oil company in the world” by spending time with his wife and two children. Point: BP-LJB. (But also, Point: BP-TH, because who doesn’t love Tequila Tuesdays?)
The former chief exec’s devotion to the environment (Browne was instrumental in getting other oil companies to address global warming and CO2 caps) may also be shelved under Hayward. A spokesperson for BP claimed it would continue its green tech investments, but some people are not certain that Hayward has the same “dedication to green issues or his fondness for the accolades this brought.” A point of contention: some of you may care more about Browne’s use of company money in Boy’s Towne than trees and baby seals and vice versa (of course, this presupposes that Hayward won’t take a page from the John Browne/Todd Thomson School of Company Perks but what the hey, we’ll give him this one). So award this point as you see fit.
New BP boss may bring changes in style [Reuters]