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Will The Poetry of Dan Loeb Continue?

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The only man in recent history who was able to get a rise out of Third Point’s Dan Loeb is branching out on his own. Andrew Rechtschaffen, whose move from Greenlight Capital to Citadel 18 months ago prompted the usually mild-mannered Daniel Loeb to send an email to Ken Griffin in which he referred to Citadel as a “gulag” and its employees as “indentured servants" and threaten: "should you attempt to hire people from [my friends], I will consider it a similar act of war” is forming Obrem Capital. The fund will use a long/short equity strategy. Rechtschaffen, Financial Times notes, worked in Citadel’s principal strategies group, where they use an event-driven approach and invest in companies involved in takeovers or restructuring. But who cares about that? What we want to know is:

What does the love note that (you know) Loeb is in the midst of drafting to young Rechtschaffen say?

A. “I just wanted to write to tell you that your fund is a pogrom—NO—a concentration camp. Your employees aren’t like slaves in Egypt, they ARE slaves in Egypt. Which is funny because I have no doubt you’re working up some sort of pyramid scheme over there as we speak. If you so much as come within a 100 mile radius of my staff, I will hunt you down and strangle you with my necktie, which will, conveniently, not be wrapped around my neck, but on my head, because, as I said in that Men’s Vogue article from a few months back, “I am like Rambo in the office”.”
B. “If I were you I’d run under the bed and hide. I look forward to the inevitable meltdown of your fund.”
C. “Andrew…I am going to find you. If not in your office than in the Xerox room or the little conference room near the kitchen…If not in your apartment than in the laundry room or the ATM in the building across the street or the watch shop. I’m going to find you, Andrew.”
D. “Lunch, Friday, you name the time/place. (Please say Cosi, please say Cosi).”
E. Ladies choice
Earlier on DealBreaker: Daniel Loeb & Rambo: First Blood Brothers?
‘Act of war’ manager leaves Citadel [Financial Times]