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Tim Sykes Once Lived In A Cramped Dorm Room

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Barbarians at the Gate was a great read but who’s up for a new book by the voice of our generation? By a day trader so great he turned $12,415 in Bar Mitzvah money into a fully audited pre-tax sum of $1.65 million, a writer so wonderful he just might trump Mergers and Acquisitions in book sales? Anyone not vigorously shaking his/her yes is a liar and a fool. Yes, friends, hedge fund guru Tim Sykes has a book. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a publisher other than himself. And master of his own publicity as he is, he needs a little help. So we’ll be excerpting his memoir, “An American Hedge Fund: How I Made $2 Million As A Stock Operator & Created A Hedge Fund” whenever the mood strikes us, and if you like it, you can buy it (in October), and if you don’t (and/or have some edits), you can email Tim at Tim at timothysykes dot com.

“My high school teammates loved my wins but were put off by my intensity. As a result I didn’t get captain; probably because they knew I’d work them as hard as I worked myself.”

“I hated Tufts University from the start. The weather seemed colder than Connecticut. The girls were overwhelmingly unattractive.”

“I was used to having my own space. Lots of it. I’d drawn a forced triple, which meant that I shared a room with two roommates instead of just one. The room was barely meant for two people, let alone three, so it was extremely tight and crowded. Early on, I banded together with one of my roommates whom I liked and we planned to irritate the third roommate into leaving. We toyed with him on a daily basis using such petty tricks as subscribing his email address to pornographic websites and spraying his sheets and pillows with Windex. After a few weeks, our operation succeeded and he moved out. My roommate and I celebrated our newfound space by throwing a party for the dorm.”

“During pledge week, a brother called asking me to bring him two dozen eggs immediately. Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring him the eggs because I was in the middle of a trade and told him so. Apparently, that was the wrong answer and I didn’t get in. I made $1,500 on the trade instead. My trading still came first and I was willing to sacrifice my social life for it.”

“My roommate and I...began playing the game “How much did Tim make today?” After class, he’d walk into our dorm room and blurt out several guesses. I wouldn’t answer until his guess was within a few thousand dollars of the correct answer…Once he guessed correctly, I liked to launch into speeches, providing all the glorious details of my trades. While I lectured, he’d sometimes nod his head in agreement, but I never really knew how much he understood.”