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Why Won't You Just Conform?

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We like our men in blue shirts and black pants, as opposed to ensembles reminiscent of “high-end gigolos populating the piazzetta in Capri.” So the news that the new uniform of (mostly) hedgies and (some) investment bankers alike is comprised of $700 cotton poplin trousers (Bottega Veneta), $250 flip-flops (Hermès) and $20,000 satchels in matte tobacco crocodile (Tod’s) was a bit disturbing to us, as we imagine it was to anyone else with eyes. But apparently, according to those designers, plus Ferragamo, Gucci, Versace, Valentino and more, you people enjoy looking like the male-moneyed equivalent of a Puerto Rican whore. They’re just complying.
A “diaphanous raincoat of parachute silk and side-belted blouson shirts” here, “boxing shorts and judo trousers, remade in matte satin and jewel colors” there. This is the new sartorial face of Third Point, RenTech, and ESL. The Bear Stearns bullpen.
Investment banker Euan Rellie was recently photographed wearing a “cropped jacket piped at the collar, lapel, hem and pocket; shirttails left hanging; bow tie” all by Thom Browne. Guy Trebay found the resulting ensemble in line with that of “the man hired by the caterers to make balloon animals.” Are these the people you want handling your money?
Looking Like a Billion Bucks [New York Times]