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If You Made These Trades, We Should Date

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Dow Jones’s Hedge Fund Trades highlights the “Fab Five”—five of the best hedge fund trades from the first half of 2007, not to be confused with the gay quintet on Bravo that makes over schlubby heterosexuals—in this week’s issue. If you had the research, foresight, killer instinct or insider info to execute the big ones, congratulations: Daniel Loeb is awarding all Third Point employees 5 minutes/day this week sans gerbils (it’s a motivational technique). If not, jump in the Delorean and stop cribbing your research from Vega.
#1: Martin Marietta Materials Inc.
Lone Pine Capital and Third Point LLC have made $500+ million between them thanks to a demand for construction materials and regulatory limits on new quarries.
#2: CF Industries Holdings Inc.
Everybody loves fertilizer, and Greenlight, who’s taken home $133 million so far this year from CF is no exception. Heil the ethanol production boom!
#3: M&F Worldwide Corp.
I hate the taste of licorice. Seriously, I can’t think of a more disgusting thing to put in your mouth. Bleach would be preferable, as would battery acid. Still, Bay Harbour Management has raked in around $51 million from M&F, a check-printing and licorice company.
#4: Onyx Pharmaceuticals Inc.
Positive trial results for cancer drug Nexavar = $50 million for U.K. fund Meditor Capital Management.
#5: Crocs Inc.
Blue Ridge Capital has made $42 million since the beginning of ’07 off of the bet that suburban housewives and city-dwelling metrosexuals* lacking in self-respect have a thing for letting the terrorists win via footwear.
Dow Jones Picks the Top 5 Hedge Fund Trades Thus Far [CNN Money]
*no gay man would stoop so low.


Look At These Paupers: The 25 Highest Paid Hedge Fund Managers Of Last Year Made A Trifling $11.62 Billion

Scratch that. It was a triflin' $11.62 billion. They can't even scrape together the money for the 'g'.