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Mo' Fundamentalism Mo' Problems

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The silly Great Satan West is at it again, naming institutions after words that sound a little bit like Arabic words. Really holy Arabic words, like the ones used to refer to the traditional biographies of Muhammed. No, the combination of NASD and NYSE regulation was not going to be called, "Spend a Little Time in a Cave and People will Believe Anything" but rather, "SIRA," or the Securities Industry Regulatory Authority. Sensitivity trainers also advise against using the term IRA after words that end in "s."
How the great wrath of men with really strong convictions and really pointy things was averted, from the Washington Post:

When NASD chairman Mary Schapiro announced the name SIRA at a luncheon in June, she was not aware that it "could create confusion or be considered offensive because of its similarity to an Arabic term used to refer to the traditional biographies of Muhammad."
"Because of this feedback, we determined that it was appropriate to select the alternative name of Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, or FINRA, for our new organization," she wrote in a note to NASD employees.

Muhammed has a series of less traditional biographical works including the very popular culinary guide, "The Meccan Caravan Raiding Diet" along with the self-help book "Deities are from Mars, Their Six Year Old Wives are from Venus." Fortunately the West has not named any institutions after the Arabic words for these titles, meaning we're that much closer (a few hundred years and an enlightenment) to Arab countries liking us.
In the same semi-retarded spirit, I propose the Germans eliminate the word for "six" from their vernacular, because it sounds slightly like the English word used to refer to the traditional biographies of Hugh Hefner and Jenna Jameson.
Broker watchdog to change its name [Washington Post]


B-School Problems

Apart from finding a job that will justify the hefty price tag of the MBA, the greatest challenge of the modern business school student is financing now the lifestyle that we think we deserve post-MBA. With the average MBA student taking on some $120,000+ in loans over two years, the common strategy entails paying less for the b-school basics (lunch, books, and beer) so that we can afford the real reasons we quit our day jobs: wining and dining at Alinea, re-enacting scenes from Aspen Extreme at a ski resort where beer flows like wine, and lazing on the beaches of Fiji, Brazil, and South Africa on school-organized treks designed to help us make friends before classes begin (aww!). It’s a hard-knock life, to be sure, but thankfully after surviving a year with no income, we’ve learned a trick or two that we’d like to share, on how to spend more than we’re worth. Tip #1: Share everything.