Someone Is Actually Going to Jail for Insider Trading

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Joseph Nacchio, former almost brother of Karate Kid idol and Qwest CEO, was sentenced to 6 years in prison for making $52 million by dumping Qwest stock when he knew his company was on a special tanking Qwest. Nacchio was convicted in April. The icing on the sentencing cake, from the New York Times:

Judge Edward Nottingham of United States District Court also ordered Mr. Nacchio to forfeit $52 million in assets he gained in illegal stock sales, imposed a maximum $19 million fine and ordered him to serve two years’ probation after serving his sentence.

Whether Nacchio's new home will be a federal "pound me in the ass" prison (or the TV edit, "pound me into ash prison"), remains to be seen. Whether Nacchio's lawyers will come up with something more clever in appeals than a tainted jury from pretrial publicity also remains to be seen.
Ex-Qwest Chief Gets 6-Year Sentence [New York Times]
(Note: The following is what happens when our graphics intern leaves and I am left to render artistic interpretations in Paint)

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