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DealBreaker Delusions of Grandeur of the Week: Caxton's Letter To Keith and Bess

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In Dealbreaker’s new “DealBreaker Delusions of Grandeur of the Week” feature, we bring you a performance update from Caxton Associate President Peter P. D’Angelo to his investors, dated August 1. D’Angelo notes that this is a “most unusual step” that he was forced to take due to market volatility and “unfounded rumors in the internet community.” That is US, people! Later, we'll try and figure out how to upload the voicemail Bruce left during lunch.
Third Point investors, expect your report tomorrow, because 3T is blowing up today.* Danny Loeb, break out the pen and paper now.
*We're joking, of course. Unless you know something.