REMINDER: Get. Out. Now.


This is just a friendly reminder to all you money-grubbing procrastinators that tomorrow, Wednesday, August 15, is the last day to ask for your money back from whatever failed, failing or doomed to fail hedge fund it’s currently in, in order to ensure a pull out by the end of the third quarter. This, of course, presupposes your fund hasn’t anticipated your intent, and frozen redemptions. While everyone is hesitating to estimate how much cash will fly out of the hedges, most are in agreement that the number will be ‘huge’ to ‘quite huge’ and will likely translate to net outflows, making the $60.2 billion in new money that HFs reeled in during the first quarter not so impressive anymore.
Shockingly, some advisors in the industry are brushing off major losses at (take your pick:) AQR, Highbridge, Goldman Sachs, D.E. Shaw, and Bear Stearns as minor obstacles on the ultimate path to the crescendo of awesomeness (and Chaco Tacos for everyone), and are urging investors to stay in it for the long haul. Are you willing to buy this spiel that things will get worse before they get better (which they will, Girl Scout promise), and the most prudent thing you can do for yourself and your money is nothing? We can’t tell you what to do, but if you’re on the fence, it probably all depends on your results from this morning’s quiz, “Are You On the Kurt Cobain Life Expectancy Plan?” Those of you with scores of 90 or above should probably take your money and run. (And tell us from where you took it and how much).
Hedge fund losses prompt exits as deadline looms [Reuters]