Skip to main content

Stephen Schwarzman Tops People’s 50 Most Beautiful List

  • Author:
  • Updated:

Nah, we’re just kidding. But old crab hands *was* in fact nominated for’s Top 49 Men of 2007. Not necessarily something to write home about, but not something to scoff at, either, perhaps. The list of candidates campaigning for the title of “Top Man” all “found great success in the past 12 months and have carried themselves like true men’s men,” according to AM. (The inclusion of Pete Wentz and Ryan Seacrest is suspect.)
Obviously, Schwarzman will easily beat out Mark Wahlberg, Denzel Washington and Matt Damon, fellow nominees who don’t have crab hands. Also easily defeated will be Dane Cook, because Schwarzman’s standup routine is far superior, and that counts for a lot.
But others in the field could be tough contenders. Mark Zuckerberg? He’s already convinced 930,281 Facebook users to join the group “Zucks 4 Top Man.” David Chase is reportedly taking out hits on all the nominees. And Rupert Murdoch is just plain stunning and will clearly put up a good fight. Last year’s winner, trying to go 2 for 2, was George Clooney-- not much competition there. If you care at all about Stephen, and shares of Blackstone, which are apparently predicted to spike up or down based on the results of this momentous poll, get out there and vote today.
Top 49 Men []