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Hairless Jim Cramer Is Having His Epileptic Fit in Stages

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With Ben Bernanke doing as he’s told, you’d think there wouldn’t be much for CNBC pundit Jim Cramer to go batshit crazy over in public, right?. Wrong. You clearly underestimated the depths of Cramer’s dementia. Last night at a Gin Lane party for the man who knew about the News Corp./Dow Jones deal eleven years before it happened, Baird Jones asked Cramer if he’d ever wear a hairpiece. This was the response:

"I would rather blow my head off . . . Never, ever, ever . . . They are phony. They are horrible. Same with hair transplants. I like cornrows when they are in an Iowa field . . . I would never even dye my hair. The only thing I have is my authenticity. No, no, no!"

And sources tell DealBreaker Cramer was later heard telling a group of revelers outside the men’s room that he still cannot get over the fact that back in the Holocaust, Hitler didn’t round up Europe’s hairpiece-affixing men when he was gathering the gypsies and Jews. “I said to him, ‘Adolf, they are just as offensive, if not more. Don’t phone this one in'.”
One wonders if Cramer’s nephew, having inherited the Cramer male pattern baldness gene, shares the philosophy. After all, it’s not like he needs hair to impress anyone—he’s got the iPhone.
Too Much Gin [New York Post]



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