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Married People Can't Do Anything Right

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The second husband and wife team to be accused of insider trading broke down and pleaded guilty yesterday afternoon, conclusively proving that there is no good end to this arcane institution ("You promised me ill-gotten gains and, like so many other instances in this prison sentence of a marriage, you disappointed me!"). Jennifer Wang, a former Morgan Stanley VP and Ruben Chen, a former ING Investment Management analyst each pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy and three counts of insider trading. The couple were arrested May 10 for trading on information about Town and Country Trust that Wang had learned through her employer, on which she and her spouse had “earned” more than $600,000 from December 2005 to March 2007.
“I feel deeply sorry for my conduct,” Wang said in court. “I understand what I did was wrong.” I should’ve married Josh Weinstein when I had the chance. Instead, I dumped him thinking, “I can do better than this!” and ended up with this guy [motions to Chen], who couldn’t properly execute a scam if his life depended on it, and never takes out the trash. You think married life as depicted by Everybody Loves Raymond looks bad? Step into my life. ELR is child's play.
Wang and Chen are the second married couple to plead guilty to insider trading this year, following in the footsteps of Mr. and Mrs. Chris (and Randi, also of Morgan Stanley) Collotta. There’s also a third husband and wife team in the mix, but their names escape us at the moment. Adorably, these incidents have been deemed “pillow-talk” cases, although, personally, the illegal, dangerous information shared seems more like stuff you’d use to initiate things, rather than cool off. Unless of course we’re talking about “pillow-talk” as a segue to round two, in which case, we stand corrected.
Couple Plead Guilty in 'Pillow-talk' Case []