Aleksey Vayner Gets Back In The Saddle

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He tried to get a job at an investment bank, failed and went into hiding for about a year but Aleksey Vayner is back, my bitches, and doing what, you might ask? Trying to find a job. Yes, even people who can bench press one billion pounds on sheer exaggeration alone need some sort of way to pay the rent, and take it from someone who knows, 2-bedroom realities of one’s own making do not come cheap. Mr. Vayner has been making the rounds and just last week interviewed at a fund in New York that would only speak about the life change experience if we promised not to reveal its name, because taking a meeting with this guy (or not knowing who he was in the first place) does not tend to be good for anyone’s reputation.
We’re going to get the most disappointing stuff out of the way first, starting with the fact that Vayner’s no longer sending his CV out in video form. Bull shit, I know. Equally upsetting: AV’s resume no longer makes mention of the book he previously claimed to have written, “Women’s Silent Tears: A Unique Gendered Perspective on the Holocaust.” As a woman and a fan on the Holocaust who often cries inaudibly, I have to say, this one stings, and I’m not really sure what the rationale was behind it. Additional letdowns—he's now going by "Alex" and is said to have come off as “personable,” “chatty,” and “laid back.” It’s like, who the hell is this guy? Luckily, that only lasted for about five minutes, at which point he took off his normal person mask and became the monstrously arrogant and, dare we say it, sociopathic liar we all know and love.
Was the video he sent to UBS an error in judgment? No, was not an error in judgment, fuck you very much. It was just, in the words of the Maestro, “taken out of context.” Oh, and he’s got another book coming out (ETA, Summer 2008). It’s called the Millionaires’ Blueprint to Success , and is based on Aleksey’s experience with the rich people he met through tennis and skiing. He wrote it because, honestly, he’s read every professional development book out there, and they’re mostly full of crap. Obviously he could do better, so he did (that’s called initiative and the ability to do simple math, just two of the many qualities he offered the firm). Aleksey’s tome—a cross between a hard finance book and a self-help guide—works because it teaches you to “train your mind to have the right attitude toward money, and then shows you how to get it.” Seriously, just buy it, you’ll love it.
You’re probably wondering why Aleksey, who graduated in May, is just now looking for employment. Well wonder no longer—it’s because he was going to go pro in tennis, with a debut playing doubles in the US Open. Unfortunately, his partner hurt his wrist two hours before their match, and though he thought about playing as a single, Aleks just decided he might as well go into finance, at which he is equally if not more so adept.
Earlier: Everything we've ever written about Aleksey Vayner.

Aleksey Vayner's Somewhat Toned-Down Resumé
[Word doc]

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