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Bank of America’s Outrageous Claims

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Kinkos Employee, Who Heard About BoA’s Third Quarter: You want me to print up some new materials to more accurately reflect your position in the i-banking game? “Best Global Bank” is kind of misleading. And “opportunities”? That’s just an outright lie.
BoA Head of On-Campus Recruiting: No, Kinkos Employee, it’s neither misleading nor a lie. Where else can you “Eat dinner with other analysts and associates, pay bills online, and put together a memo to the firm regarding a fixed income transaction that we priced today for a subsidiary of a $10 billion market cap industrial giant…every day”?
BofA Recruiting [PDF]
(It kind of seems like we have it out for Bank of America today, but this last one affected the children, and we would've been remiss not to mention it. Plus, we're junkies for this stuff and couldn't stop ourselves even if we wanted to. Additionally, Sandy Weill won't stop pressuring us via IMs (DaSandMan2000, FYI) to "write enough damning shit about BoA to drive the stock price down enough that I might buy it in cash and combine it with Citi and create the biggest bank in the world, BY FAR. Of course, this will necessitate me pushing out Prince first, but, heh, let's be honest, that shouldn't be too hard." Anyway, we're going to try really hard to make this the last BoA post of the day, mostly because we've devoted barely any time hating on Merrill.)