Merrill Lynch Recalibrates Its Definition of “Best Performing” In Light Of The Circumstances

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This is horrifying—the securities firm that just lost $2.24 billion in one quarter is now saying it may be reducing year-end bonuses. Never have we ever been so inclined to say, WTF, O'Neal? WTF. Oh wait, hold on: MER “remains focused on paying its best performing employees competitively.” So what all you Lynchies need to do is ask yourselves, “How much did I suck this quarter, and was it more or less than the guy to my right/left?” Should give you a decent idea about what to expect.
Merrill Lynched [FT Alphaville]

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