UBS’s Triumphant Return To Profitability Will Be Paved By Encouraging Employees To Please, For The Love Of Christ, Do Us A Favor And Print On Both Sides Of The Paper


Dear Colleagues,
As we approach the close of 2007, I would like to take this opportunity to bring your attention to the continued effort around cost control, balance sheet management and overall efficiency. History has shown that the fourth quarter is where we have lost ground and focus on these key initiatives. Therefore, I encourage you to take all necessary measures to make sure that you don’t take your eyes off the ball and allow end of year cost creep to occur.
Thank you for your attention to this "timely" measure. I appreciate your leadership and partnership in finishing the year on a strong note.
Michael Weisberg
Global Head Products & Services


Lynn Tilton Taking It From Both Sides

The Patriarch Partners founder is now dealing with allegations of fraud from investors, in addition to those by the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Jamie Dimon (Sort Of) Returns Tom Brady's Favor

Back in October, the most wonderful aspect of the JPMorgan Whale Tale emerged in the pages of Vanity Fair: the day Vice-Chairman Jimmy Lee barricaded himself in his office determined to come up with a way to help Jamie Dimon, and after hours of thinking real hard, summoned his six secretaries and told them they had a job to do, which was getting Tom Brady on the horn so he could deliver a pep talk sure to cheer up the boss. Was the call kind of awkward, considering the two had never spoken and Brady's lack of useful investment ideas likely meant his big speech involved not much more than  "Even Super Bowl champion quarterbacks have bad days" and "Keep your chin up out there?" Probably. And yet some sort of bond was clearly forged, which would explain why Dimon felt compelled to throw Brady this bone: