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Wall Street Heads Will Sooner See You Die Of Prostate Cancer Than Grow Facial Hair

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Tomorrow is the first day of Movember, a charity event started in Australia that gets men to grow mustaches (and ‘stache supporters to sponsor their efforts) in order to raise money for prostate cancer research. In years past, Mo Bro participation from the Aussie branches of Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, Deloitte and PricewaterhouseCoopers has been huge, and nearly 25% of funds generated since the organization was started four years ago have come from finance professionals. With Thursday marking the first time the contest is being held in the U.S., you would think that top banks would be gung-ho about their employees growing hair, just to prove themselves better than one another in a category other than record losses, but, apparently, not so much. We placed some calls today to find out which firms will officially be sporting wool and let’s just say that you should all be performing regular self-exams for early detection, because a cure is not around the corner. When asked if their CEOs would be setting good examples for their minions by growing moustaches this month (and, obviously, contractually obligating the plebes to do so, as well), Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers and Citigroup all said no, and Goldman Sachs said it’d get back to us but hasn’t (which is probably a no and besides the point: Blankfein promised himself he’d never go back to his hobo days a long time ago). A spokeswoman for Merrill Lynch told us that, like all the other pro-cancer banks in New York, hers would not be asking employees to take part in the event, and reminded us that, at the present time, MER has no CEO on which to grow a ‘stache. When we casually wondered aloud whether or not the last guy to run the company would’ve seen the same fate had he worn some fur, she responded, “maybe not.” And honestly? Girl didn’t sound like she was kidding.
Do you have the ability to grow facial hair and the balls to say corporate culture be damned, I am not down with this life-threatening disease? Send photographic updates on your progress here.
Growing Facial Hair for Charity [WSJ]