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We Will Never Trust Another Human Being Again

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RE: John Fitzgerald, whose yet-to-be announced vasectomy will be the one good thing he’s ever done for humanity:

For what it's worth, I looked up John Fitzgerald in Wharton's alumni database and there's nobody in it that fits his description.

How in god's name will he convince women to keep not having sex with him now? Our tears are dried slightly in remembering that he still has his 8.9 rating on Hot or Not to fall back on, but, still, this is almost as bad as the time we found out Aleksey Vayner wasn’t actually a ninja.